Who could have predicted that blogging would become such a good friend to me? Let me explain. Today I dropped Carter off at school after a particularly hard morning. As I was leaving, I ran into several people that I know and was greeted with the same question I hear everyday, "You must be so happy to be home, how are things going?" I gave the same response that I give many times each day, "Good, thanks." Then I hurried to my car before my tears began spilling, outing me as a fraud because things aren't really that "good".
It's not that life is horrible, but, we are still in a very difficult period of this whole process. And so, I save my true feelings for my blog...I wish my Carter could run and play with his friends. I wish his heart wasn't sad as he sits and watches the other kids at recess. I wish he wasn't overwhelmed by school work. I wish he didn't have pain. I wish he didn't have to go to therapy and do those stretches that hurt. I wish I could make it all better.
My blog doesn't feel uncomfortable when I speak the cold, hard truth. I don't have to listen as My Blog tells me that things will get better. Instead I write how I'm really feeling, and just the act of doing that helps me to feel better. And somewhere out there, someone is reading the story of my crazy life and loving me and my family and cheering us on.