Friday, September 17, 2010

My Blog

Who could have predicted that blogging would become such a good friend to me? Let me explain. Today I dropped Carter off at school after a particularly hard morning. As I was leaving, I ran into several people that I know and was greeted with the same question I hear everyday, "You must be so happy to be home, how are things going?" I gave the same response that I give many times each day, "Good, thanks." Then I hurried to my car before my tears began spilling, outing me as a fraud because things aren't really that "good".

It's not that life is horrible, but, we are still in a very difficult period of this whole process. And so, I save my true feelings for my blog...I wish my Carter could run and play with his friends. I wish his heart wasn't sad as he sits and watches the other kids at recess. I wish he wasn't overwhelmed by school work. I wish he didn't have pain. I wish he didn't have to go to therapy and do those stretches that hurt. I wish I could make it all better.

My blog doesn't feel uncomfortable when I speak the cold, hard truth. I don't have to listen as My Blog tells me that things will get better. Instead I write how I'm really feeling, and just the act of doing that helps me to feel better. And somewhere out there, someone is reading the story of my crazy life and loving me and my family and cheering us on.

Lately, as I've gotten more involved in the blogging world, I've met some absolutely amazing moms with unbelievable stories. I believe, there is no stronger force in this world, than a mom on a mission, especially when it involves her child. I am so thankful to be able to tag along on another mother's journey; learning and growing from the stories that are shared. And to My Blog, I send out a thank you for not judging me and letting me say what I need to say to make it through one more day and one more foot rub.

If anyone really loves me, they will invent a foot massager that feels "right" according to Carter (yes, we've tried a back massager attached to his foot with ace bandages, not the same he tells us).

1 comment:

Gracie said...

I feel your pain! You would think that the "rubbing" would go away when the turning stoppped. I still have to rub her knee non stop! She even calls me on her cell phone at all hours of the night to come into her room and rub. It is good to be in my house....but this double life thing is exhausting!! Call me anytime you wanna talk. Miss you guys. Ashley