Sunday, December 6, 2009
Colby Gives Me Driving Lessons
I want everyone to experience what it's like driving my minivan with Colby critiquing my every move. Seriously. First some background, Colby's world is black and white... there are no grey areas. Everything is either RIGHT or WRONG, there's no in between. While I recognize this is a noble way to live, it's just down right frustrating when you are raising a child with such a conscience.
Case in point:
Colby: Uh, hem, Mom. You are driving six miles over the posted speed limit.
Colby: Look at your speedometer.
Me: Actually, there is a 5-10 mile an hour leniency from the posted speed, I've just never told you about it.
Colby: No there's not, MOM!
Me: It's really not totally against the law if you only drive slightly over the speed limit.
Colby: You call that slightly?
Me: Quit looking at the speedometer.
Me: Fine, I'll slow down.
Five minutes later:
Colby: MOM, you just took both your hands off the steering wheel!
Me: No I didn't.
Colby: Yes, I saw you drive with your knee. You need to pay complete attention to your driving.
Me: Oh, right.
This is what it is like everytime I take that child anywhere in the car. Seriously. Am I like a Saint or WHAT for having to put up with this????
And don't worry, I told Colby he had to follow ALL the laws when he turns 16 and starts driving. He assured me that he would comply with all the rules and not follow my example. To quote my cousin, "I just can't figure out why my 'mother of the year' award hasn't arrived!"