Saturday, September 4, 2010

My Life

Surgery Day - June 1, 2010

I've been packing all day, we've collected A LOT of crap (apparently not that crappy since we can't part with it) since coming to Florida. I've got four days to get all of our stuff packed and get this place looking shipshape. We still have daily P.T. until we leave and our appointment on Monday (and possibly the little surgery) so I'm trying to get as much done today as I can. Carter's ankle has been bothering him, even though he says it isn't. But I can tell by his body language and mood. He really doesn't want to have the little nerve decompression surgery. Don't you like how I call it the "little" surgery? Makes me feel better. I'm keeping up hope that his pain will subside by Monday. Optimistic, don't you think?

I feel kinda sad when I look out at the Ocean. It's amazingly beautiful today, although Carter refuses to go down to the water or the pool. That's what I mean about his mood- he's just not himself today. We had some great times as a family down on the beach. I wish we could do it just one more time. All of us here together, having fun. I was thinking back to our first night in WPB, the eve of Carter's surgery. We were all nervous, but completely in awe of our wonderful Florida home. I can't believe it's over. We've had some hard times, but just as many good ones.

We took Gracie and Ashley to the airport this morning. I was telling Ashley that it feels weird to be going home; good but weird. I feel so disconnected from my regular life. Last May, when we left for Florida, I was scared, scared, scared. I remember the morning we pulled out of our driveway and feeling like I couldn't breathe. How could I possibly live a different life for four months? In order to survive, it was easier to separate from home and put all of my focus on our current situation. So I did that, but now, it's time to say goodbye to this chapter, move forward, and reconnect. And you know what's crazy? I'm feeling uneasy about it, nervous for some reason. It's always hard to make life changes, even if you really want the change. Does that make sense to anyone? If so, you're my best friend cause you get me.

On the way home from the airport we stopped at the Dunkin Donuts drive through window (it's our first visit to the donut shop, no I'm not lying) and pulled up behind a police officer. Carter said, "Oh, a cop getting his donut and cup o' joe." He makes me laugh. Then he told me how his friend's friend has a friend who knows some kids who got caught smoking tweed.

And that's my life. It's a good one. I've been forced to stretch outside of my comfort zone and, surprising to me, I really like being limber. I think my next challenge is going to be learning when to use commas versus semicolons, right now I just use them at random. It's true.


KGB said...

It makes perfect sense and I get it. In a totally different setting, I understand the hard to leave home for the unknown and missing those left behind, to thinking about the reconnect in a few months. Our experiences have changed us and yet helped us value family, friends, and staying connected to reality. We are so proud of all of you--your journey has not been alone. We love and pray for you, Mom and Dad Brown

B&L Belnap said...

I must be your best friend, I get it too. Loving what you're leaving behind, but loving what you are going to too. All sorts of mixed emotions. Love you, Laura